Last week, we waded into a potentially controversial topic. You see, for the past several weeks, we’ve been talking about the church in your house. That church being, of course, your family.
When we started this series, we noted that “church” is not just a building or an event – but it’s people. The church is the family of God. And anyone who has put their trust in Jesus is part of that family.
That means, that if your family is part of the family of God, then your home is really like a little mini-church. There is a church in your house – and each person in your house has a role to play in that church. So what are those roles?
Well over the course of these past few weeks, we’ve spend quite a bit of time looking specifically at the roles of husbands and wives in marriage and we’ve discovered that God has actually designed our marriages to be modelled after Christ’s relationship with his church.
We’ve discovered that husbands are to play the role of Christ – and we are to do for our families exactly what Christ has done for us. Not that we can die on a cross for the forgiveness of sins, but we are are to love our wives with that same self-sacrificing love that Christ demonstrated for all of us. Likewise, wives are to play the part of the church – relating to their husbands in the same way as the church relates to Christ.
And this is where the potential controversy comes in. In describing this role of the church as it relates to Christ and the role of wives as they relate to their husbands, the Bible describes this role as one of submission. Ephesians 5:22 says…
22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24
Now in our modern North American culture of 2019, this idea of wives submitting to their husbands often comes across as a very negative thing. Many would say that it is demeaning to women – that it robs them of their true value and worth and degrades them as second class citizens.
But that understanding of submission is not at all what the Bible teaches. In fact, I would argue that Biblical submission actually goes the opposite way – it actually affirms the incredible value and worth of women.
Think of it like this: It’s kinda like how the president of the United State puts his trust in his secret service body guards. To a certain extent, the president places himself under the care and protection of his body guards. The president is the important one – and those bodyguards affirm that because they are willing to take a bullet to keep him safe.
Well, in Biblical submission – the husband is the bodyguard. God has entrusted him with the job of keeping her safe. In fact, the definition that we’ve been looking at for headship is this:
Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home. ~ John Piper
The husband is the bodyguard. That’s why the Bible tells husbands to love their wives like they love their own bodies! We are to be willing take a bullet both figuratively and literally for our wives. We put her good ahead of our own!
Of course, this is exactly what we see Jesus doing for us. He took the bullet – he died on the cross for our sin so that we could live. Why? Was it because he thought we were worthless and second-class citizens? No way! He did that because of how valuable we are to him. Ephesians 2:4 says…
4 But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, 5 that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) Ephesians 2:4-5
Jesus took the bullet for us because he loved us sooo much! When we accept Christ as our Lord and saviour – when we willingly submit ourselves under his leadership, under his provision, and under his protection – that doesn’t de-value us in any way. It’s actually the opposite – what Christ has done for us affirms how valuable we are to God.
So when it comes to our roles in marriage, in the same way, I think submission only affirms the great value and worth of our wives.
For a woman to willingly submit to her husband means that she knows without a shadow of a doubt that he loves her like crazy – and that he will sacrifice his own good for her good! When she places herself under his protection and provision and leadership, that’s a huge responsibility for him! For him to take on that responsibility, he has got to think the world of this girl!
Biblical submission in marriage should only affirm the incredible worth and value of our wives.
But that being said, that’s not always what we see in the world around us, and it’s not always what we experience even in our own marriages.